My Blog

its funny how people can have different sides to them

who am i?

i’m not always that lucky. those were the days that i dun have to study much or none at all and i could get to the express stream easily, din study at all and got promoted to sec 4. slacked during ‘o’ levels and get to my dream course. i wasnt an extremely lucky person but at least luck was by my side when i needed it most. but like i mentioned, those were the days. lady luck isnt with me anymore. i din manage to scrape thru econs like my frens. sub paper is on the way. battling with the emotions within me. i wld think abt it whenever my mind wasnt occupied. some people cherish their lives better when given a second chance but not so for me. i want to pass but i cant find the movtivation to study. sighs

enough bout the bad stuffs. he went to camp and nobody else asked me out so i was left to rot at home. but it proved to be a great chance to reconnect with my family. in the morning, my sis, my mum and i cooked together.. we din talk much but the moment just felt so special. we bickered about how things shld be done and suddenly it feels like home again. my family ties are strong but i just dun talk much to them, maybe its bcos of the huge age gap, maybe its just myself, as i grew older, the rebellious freak took over me and i drifted further from them. whatever happens, i seek solace in my friends rather den my family. i just felt that they’ll never understand me. maybe its still the same now? i love them all the same but i’ll never be able to speak to them like friends.

i asked my mum out in the evening and we went to town to shop together and had dinner together. its been such a long time since the 2 of us went out together. i saw her smiling, i dunno whether it was the effect of shopping or that her daugther that seemed so distanced was finally by her side again. i was smiling too. quality time spent? definitely.

miss u so much!

had a little talk with the people close to me and i’m startin to think about my future. as in really think and start makin plans. usually its all empty talk but now i’m getting really worried . self evaluation, research blah blah blah. cant believe i’m doing all these. cant afford to be laid-back anymore.

research’s driving me crazy, bad headache and all. this is insane i tell u. but it kinda drove me to my senses, this is the kinda life i’ll be living if i were to stick with it so who am i to complain?

growin up is a pain in the ass.

my ranting starts now.

i’m so stressed!! so much to do but too little time to handle!

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now i shall show u my OFFICIAL schedules/datelines

- 25/7 travel geog field trip (going tourism academy @ sentosa & NUS)

- 27/7 comm skills oral presentation

- 29/7 Transportation test and travel geog case study 2 DUE !!

- 05/8 report submission for Intro HTM

- 08/8 Business Computer Sci Test, Intro HTM presentation!

- 12/8 Transport Tourism Business proj due!

-15/8 Report submission for fundamentals of F&B Sci, IntHTM oral assessment

- 16/8 Travel geog(education) proj due!!

- 17/8 Fundamentals of F&B sci prog presentation!!

- 19/8 BCS test, BCS proj submission! , Econs portfolio due!

** all the above is till 19th of august only.. there’s more! haha

next to come…

——————————————————————————

UNOFFICAL date dues

-Comm skills presentation draft & outline

-Travel geog case study 2 research

- Travel geog (education) research

- Travel geog prep for field trip

- IntHTM research for F&B, accomodation and Issues!

- FFBSci menu research and wait for Les Amis’s reply

******* Pls not all the above are due on MONDAY 25/07/2005

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Tell me how can i not be stressed?! lol. yes i’m stressed and laughing, gone mad from all the deadlines. if u think research is the simplest thing on earth, u’re so wrong. alright, maybe u’re not. but extracting the RIGHT info from that whole chunk of stupid words IS.  if only the search engine is smarter. if only it cld read my mind and filter off all the unnecessary info. if only it be personalised to suit me. IF ONLY I HAD NO PROJECTS TO DO AND THE DATELINES WERENT SO CLOSE!

to date i have SEVEN projects on hand all to be done by 19th aug. pls console me!

my problem lies here, or so my frens say — too easy-going, ok with everything.

the confidence level is just not there yet.

scars. awful

the entire world has turned their heads against me. yeah, i know i’m thinking too much, but i cant help feeling this way since i feel so lost now. perhaps its because i have just stepped into a new environment and the past has been catching up on me, i just cant help but feel really worried. i’m not being myself. this feeling sucks and it drives me crazy. i doubt anybody understands what i’m saying but i just have to say my piece somehow so i turned to this blog again.

the feeling of being lonely yet u’re not alone. anybody felt like this before? i dun wanna revert back to my old self whereby i keep all my problems to myself.. the pain somehow doubles that way. i think this is part of growing up and i totally hate it. why cant people stay the same and things nv change? yes, i hate changes. i’m just not flexible enough to adapt to this fast-paced society. okay, i’m done grumbling, i guess nobody would understand how i’m feeling or wat i’ve said i just needed to get it off my chest.

bring me back to life 

i am happy =D =D

went cycling in the morning with pw, jt, yy n wm all which i haven gone out with in a really long time and px.  we had so much fun but poor px fell down. but all in all it was nice and i finally got red!!! i wanna get tanner! i’m so sick of getting fair again after a few days of tan complexion. i want a perm tan! haha.

after that went kbox with my colleagues. it was the first time i sang so much , usually i’ll just sit down n listen. thats a change man =). i’m so sorry that they gotta suffer n actually listen to my awful voice. hope it wasnt that bad! after ktv went down to novena to have dinner with my family. it’s my mum’s birthday today! i was bout half an hour late. so paiseh! i had so much fun today! =)

still working at that printer company…lol. as many of my friends always call it. 3rd of may was supposed to be my last day but i lengthened it to the 6th of may. i dun like the work but i guess i will really miss it there. made such wonderful friends. =)

was kinda troubled recently. i hate this kind of feeling! i finally got over the past and this had to come.  dun bother bout me, i just need an outlet to let out all my frustrations.  but i believe i’ll get over it soon. starting my french class next mon! so excited.. hope i wont give up half way.

just came back from bali. the place wasnt the peaceful , amazing type and u would not even call it fabulous but it’s lovely, to me at least. i loved it there. there’s a certain tranquilty in the bustling street. maybe because over there i wasnt tied down to anything like work, or studies. everyday i wake up to the scorching sun and breakfast overlooking the beach. one word to sum it up, wonderful.

the roads were unpaved and the car trembled every few  metres,  traffic lights were barely seen so driving at T-junctions were an adventure and those were the things that attracted me to it. i dun like it when things are too prim and proper. just like in singapore.

all in all, i really miss it there.  i never missed a holiday so much before. guess there’s something bout the sea that really attracts me to it =)

I’ll probably be the only idiot who updates the friendster blog. blogspot is too complicated for me and this blog is good for an idiot like me because i don’t like to fuss over blogskins. The reason that i’ll be posting entries here is so that my good old buddies know what’s going on in my life or any other people who cares to know. haha. I’ll see how the response goes or i’ll close this altogether. take care my friends.